Masters - Research Participant Four

The fourth interviewee discussed a patient in her mid to late-thirties who had a prior diagnosis of bi-polar disorder, for which she had, had previous hospital admissions (Caixeta 2013). The interviewee states that the patient who was well known to them, given these previous admissions on their ward which were usually in her manic stages but had also involved a depressive stage at one point ‘for about a week’. On this occasion the patient was in the manic phase of her bi-polar cycle reportedly being as ‘high as a kite and talking incessantly about being pregnant’. The interviewee reported that the patient came to them already convinced that she was pregnant and this did not raise suspicion as she was visited regularly by her partner who was also of the conviction that she was pregnant. This was then supported by physical symptoms including a distended abdomen, breast swelling, fatigue and high temperatures (Marusic 2006). The nurse also reported that the patient began organising her life around the pregnancy and started to make appointments for things such as anti-natal classes and that for this reason the pregnancy appeared to be a positive experience for the patient as it was something that was grounding her and providing with something to structure herself with. It was stated that the nursing team felt ‘happy for her, because she was, as I said, a decent person’ and enjoyed speaking with her about her plans for the baby that she believed she was carrying. The patient was thought stable enough to return home at this stage. However, after some investigative tests it became apparent that the patient was in fact not pregnant and it was this news that led to the patient’s readmission to the hospital. It was reported that with the readmission to hospital the patient then went into a phase of denial and began insisting on further investigative tests being done. The nurse expressed ‘lots of sympathy for her because we (staff) had all thought her to be pregnant as well’ and recounts how shocked the nursing team was at the news because nobody had up until that point doubted that she was pregnant and ‘it came as a shock’. The patient is thought to have felt humiliated by this outcome and begins to become increasingly angry about the news of her non-pregnancy. The patient is reported to have fluctuated in her mood and mental state at this period saying ‘some really vicious things’ to her partner and even physically attacking him on occasion but would then lament at her own behaviour when her partner was not around. The nurse reports this wider impact of the non-pregnancy on the partner and states that staff members had seen him sat in the park opposite the hospital ‘sitting on a bench in the park opposite the hospital with tears running down his face’ after these exchanges before returning to the ward to be met with more of the same behaviour from the patient. It is at this point in the interview where the interviewee themselves asked to pause and needed some time to compose her emotions. She eventually goes on to report that the patient was eventually discharged but did return to the ward again at a later date, at which point she ‘always refused’ to acknowledge or discuss what had occurred previously during her non-pregnancy. This nurse’s lived experience is an emotional one that was still able to disturb her emotionally when discussing it and resulted in the interview being paused so that the interviewee could compose themselves. She clearly has a lot of empathy towards the patient and appears to feel some guilt in regards to not recognising the pseudocyesis and therefore preventing the tragic aftermath. She experiences shock when learning of the non-pregnancy and does not appear to have fully come to terms with the events that unfolded.